Monday, February 01, 2010

The Huntress

Brought up on the warriors creed
Trained to fill the village need
No better hand at sword or bow
Into the forest she would flow
A wisp of air or whisper of leaves
The stalking trek the huntress weaves
Black armor of leather and breaches skin tight
Her silhouette but a shadow in Darkenwood's light
While hunting one day a trail she would cross
A bend of a twig, a smearing of moss
Sparking her interest she quit hunting that day
To follow this sign to where ever it may
Who ever it was she knew it as man
The way it wandereds no purpose or plan
Strange it seems they stumble and fall
Like a drunkard’s swagger bumping the wall
She found the intruder laid out by the stream
Movements all jerky as if fighting a dream
Broad shoulders brown hair streaked by the sun
Stepping closer she wonders
"could this be the one?"
Foretold by the seer past carnival day
That love would find her in just such a way
Of love and of men none she had known
The lot of the huntress was sleeping alone
She knew in the instant their eyes met
Struck by the knowledge her future was set
The longing of yesterdays finally at rest
Holding true love the end of her quest
He looked on the face of a heavenly sight
"Love I've found you"
Then slipped into night
She placed her hand on his quivering chest
Cradled his head on to her leather cupped breast
She had found her true love and said her goodbye
Shaken by sorrow and whispering why
She sat there rocking, tears streaking her cheek
For what she had lost by Darkenwood’s creek
With pain is so great why don't I bleed
Weeps the daughter of the woodsman's seed

Many years later she'd relive the day
Sitting by the fire her hair streaked in gray
Her love's features sharp her vision clear still
Not clouded with mistrust or conflicts of will
She sat there smiling at a young woman's plea
And how it was answered by the heart of a tree
Pulp tea the seer pressed her that day
Held the gate open and fever at bay
Two became one as foretold by the fates
The manner of love and meaning of mates


Saturday, July 19, 2008

Is this the one???

It Better Be!

Those who know me know the BS I've gone through in my work life in the last year. The latest folly the Gods threw me was a boss that was a female version of the SOB I worked under for 10 years. Tis ok! Karma will prevail for the accusations she put out about me and my family.

I started a new job last week. A condo maintenance tech at one of the oldest and most prestigious firms in PDX . Spent the first week doing pool route work and being assessed by the head tech, as they are still preparing the place I'll go ultimately.

So Tuesday evening we walk in the shop and find out that 1 of the spas has been closed by the county! All the chemicals are out of whack they said. WTF!!? The water was analyzed and we introduced exactly what they said to. So I was told that Thursday I would go there and spend the whole day taking measurements each hour and observing bather load and make my recommendations. Sure, its what I do after all, eh?

Well I get there and and first thing I notice is someone has told them it's a 900 gal. spa. To make a long story short I think "Naaaaah it's gotta be half that!". So after a call to one of my network people we agree that I am looking at a 400-450 gal spa at best! Using that as a base I dosed it muriatic acid to get a base to work with and after doing all the calculations introduce what I believe to be the right amount of chemicals. TADAAA! I dialed that puppy in perfectly the first time.

Then at 1:00 the owner of the condo assn. comes in and I spend the next hour explaining to her the specifics of my recommendations and giving her a crash course on pool and spa upkeep. ( I hope I didn't confuse the poor lady TOO much! Hehe). By the time I made it back to the shop she had already emailed the boss and couldn't thank them enough for sending me.

Then I'm told yesterday that I'm to take over the route for the head tech Mon. & Tues. on some of their oldest and most respected accounts being he is taking a much needed couple of days off. Hmm, sounds like I made a pretty good impression I guess!

My point? The bitch I first spoke of said I completely overstated how good I was on these things in my resume. And yet, after only 1 week I've impressed these people enough that I'll be working on properties that go for up to $750,000 with an on-site placement at a Willamette riverfront condo.

"Hey Avin. It seems I'm good enough for 3/4 million dollar condos but not good enough for your 30 year outhouses with a slime pit of a pool. Perhaps you should reevaluate and stop making snap decisions based on first impressions.

Let's discuss the conversation that led to me being fired from my last job shall we?

-You accused me of possibly having ADD. And yet, I'm to take over a route that encompasses 3 counties and properties that make where you manage look like the St. Johns landfill after only 4 days. Odd that a Maintenance/Pool tech with over 20 years under his belt can see my worth and you couldn't. Well I guess not being this is the first property you've ever managed.

-You accused me of being a possible drug user and yet I passed their U.A. with flying colors. Hmmm guess that accusations kinda blown out of the water eh?

-Then you say a scent that I use and consider to be a mark of my religion is a cover up for this alleged drug use? Congratulations! Now you've even insulted my religious beliefs!! I'm sure a lawyer would loooove to get his hands on that one! I think it's called defamation of character if not religious discrimination.

-Then you accused my family of being possible thieves!!? Ummm, would that be my retired, handicapped sister or my brother, who is a retired police detective and a consultant to the FBI on cyber-crime?

You have been in your isolated little so called glass castle
for over 6 years now. When the ax falls... and it will, you will find out what the real world is actually like now.

And it AIN'T pretty.

"Karma baby, karma"


Friday, February 22, 2008

Monday, February 18, 2008

My Soul Urge Number

In the last newsletter, we introduced you to the concept of
the Soul Urge number, which is constructed from the vowels
of your name. As a bit of a refresher here is the chart
that tells you how to calculate this number which reveals
the passions that feed your spirit.

A 1
E 5
I 9
O 6
U 3

Only count the value of the vowels in your name and add them
together and reduce to a single digit as usual to calculate
your soul number.

Ok So there are 2 Os and 2 Es in my name which add up to 22 and here is the result

Soul Urge #22

You have the highest soul calling of all of the numbers, as
it is the call to transform the world permanently and for
the better. Usually you are born with all of the tools that
you need to accomplish this including a stable personality,
intelligence, courage and charisma. Perhaps the most healing
thing for your soul is simply to read out loud the words of
ancient texts as these writings resonate very strongly with
the noblest aspirations of your higher self.

When you fit this in with the other things I keep getting it just makes me shake my head even more.

Dear Gods. What would you have me do???


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

RIP- Kyle Kepic

ying Goodbye is hard when they are so sons best friend. So clean for so long.

So long Kyle my young Brother. Ya crazy kid. Damnit I'll never forget those river trips. Hehe, how can I with that pimped out chair??

We love you

Twiggypop & MommaT

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

My Numerological Self

Robert, your Life Path of 9 ...

You are a deeply spiritual individual who often displays a deep interest in religion or the occult at a very early age. In fact many nines grow up to be psychics, healers, priests and nuns. You probably feel responsible for keeping up the morality or spirit of mankind in some way, or even responsible for their very souls. This is why many nines also end up working for the law as policemen or judges or in some aspect of spiritual or psychological counseling.

The emphasis of your life path is on finding ways to communicate the divinity of man in a practical context. As many nines are also very artistic, this connection with the higher powers might also be expressed through a talent such as writing, music or painting.

At some point in your life you have probably sworn to yourself to make this world a better place. You are extremely compassionate and feel above the matters that you feel causes factions of society to be divided. You are very aware of feeling as insignificant as a grain of sand in the Universe and believe that materialism, prejudice and lust just don't matter in the long run.

You have a charismatic and very open personality that attracts you a lot of friends. You are very social, sometimes at the expense of your other responsibilities. Sometimes a number nine might take too much time out during the day "to smell the flowers" and incur the resentment of those that are left to pick up the slack.

Your attitude towards life in general is very selfless and you usually have a good connection with God or a higher power. However often the number 9 faces a unique challenge at some point in his or her life that seems to be a test of faith. Usually this incident takes the form of a devastating personal loss, disease or some sort of tragedy. This triggers a period of time that lasts a few years that is often called the "dark night of the soul." It is usually during this period of your life that you find the extreme courage and strength to become what is called a wounded healer.

Your life may seem too tough to handle at times which makes you vulnerable to finding substitutes for the family unit. As you are naturally very lonely and insecure, you are particularly vulnerable to joining a cult or becoming fanatical in the religious sense.

If you are a number nine you may find your life seems more difficult than others. This is because it is common human nature to take advantage of your compassion, empathy and generosity. It may seem unfair to you that others do not appreciate the spiritual gifts that you have to offer, especially when you demand so little materially from the world. This is part of the problematic path of the number 9 who is often fated to learn that the path of true compassionate does not necessarily result in spiritual rewards for the healer either.

Although you may feel quite clear about your divine purpose and goals in life, others may perceive you as weird or spacey. This is why it is often difficult for a number 9 to keep a job for long. Relationships might also be very difficult for a 9 to sustain, as this particular path is a rather lonely one. Part of the 9's spiritual development is usually being presented with situations that force them to let go of emotional situations and connections that might interfere with the higher purpose that the cosmos has in store for them.

Your Expression - which describes your potential natural talents and abilities - works out to be a 9.

How Is Your Expression Calculated?

What we are going to do now is turn all the letters in your name at birth into numbers,
using the following chart :


In practice I put the vowels above the name and the consonants underneath. This is because your Soul Urge is derived from the vowels alone, so it makes it easier at the next step to do it this way.

Again there is one exception to the rule and this is with the letter ‘Y’. If it acts as a consonant and is pronounced it is classed as being a consonant. If it is not pronounced or acts as a vowel it is classed as being a vowel. The ‘Y’ in Yolande, for instance, would be classed as being a consonant, but the ‘Y’ in Larry would be classed as being a vowel as it acts as a vowel.

Let’s work out your Expression number, Robert :

Using the above chart we would put a 9 below the 'R' of your first name. We would follow this with a 6 placed above the 'o', then a 2 below the 'b', a 5 above the 'e', and so on ...

We then carry on in the same manner with the rest of your name. When you are finished, you should end up with a chart like this:


















Now we simply add up the numbers in each row.

The top row: Adding 6 + 5 + 1 + 6 + 6 + 5 gives us 29. Adding 2 + 9 gives us 11 (note that we don't add the digits of 11 together, since 11 is a 'Master Number').

The bottom row: Adding 9 + 2 + 9 + 2 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 5 + 1 + 5 + 1 gives us 43. Adding 4 + 3 gives us 7. .

We now add the total of the top and bottom rows, which gives us 11+7=18. Adding 1 + 8 gives us 9.

And so, Robert, your Expression is 9.

What a '9' Expression Means About You

Now that we've done the calculations, what does this actually mean?

Robert, your Expression of 9 ...
Your Potential Natural Talents and Abilities

The ultimate height of your personal expression in life is the chance to offer to others. You are spiritual in a very practical way and others are often drawn to your empathy and compassion. You work well with people of all ages but you particularly delight in inspiring creativity in children and young adults. For this reason you make a fantastic teacher, counselor or psychologist.

Others trust you implicitly because you are so kind, considerate and consistent. You are often the one that is still there when everyone else has abandoned someone for being a "lost cause." You are an extremely loyal and dependable friend.

You are a very intuitive individual who is deeply connected to others in a spiritual way. Many nines are prophets, healers and psychics. If you are not psychic then at the very least you are deeply drawn to studying matters of the occult or religion in some way. As you are so driven by your intuition, you are not often found in a day job but rather in an occupation that allows you to go where your heart leads you.

As others don't understand your idealism you might suffer a great deal of skepticism or criticism in your life. While very young you may have learned to cloak your personality in eccentricity so that others don't take you seriously. You may have also gained a great deal of weight or developed a disability that gives you the excuse not to have march in step with the mass population. Often these illnesses and personal problems exist in order to eventually to jumpstart a leap on the spiritual path to enlightenment. Your trials and troubles often eventually qualify you as a "wounded healer" by the end of your life.

You are very concerned with the issue of how to express unconditional love. This is a very troubling concept for you as it is difficult for you to accept that one could love another so much and get no cosmic reward in return. It is often part of a number nine's life expression path to be stuck with a difficult soul mate or experience a lot of rejection. This is the universe's way of forcing you to connect with others on a spiritual way rather in a way that is lustful or possessive.

Love is the most important thing in the world to you but you often have problems finding a soul mate. Many nines do not make good parents because they are too driven by impulse to be a consistent presence in a child's life. Your partner or lover may also find you frustrating because you live so much in the present and rarely think of the future.

You are very warm and friendly and almost all that meet you are immediately impressed by your gentle and kind personality. As the last thing anyone could ever call you is shallow, you sometimes don't pay that much attention to your personal appearance. Also putting other's priorities ahead of your own often leads to a great deal of self-sacrifice. One of your challenges is to make sure that you take time out to take care of yourself and your surroundings.

Creativity and art mean a great deal to you and many of you are great poets, musicians and artists. Art is an ideal way for you to express your love of harmony and the divine order of the universe.

Now, Let's Examine Your Soul Urge
(also known as your "Heart's Desire")

We have already done all the mathematics necessary to work out this number. It is simply the total of the top row (the vowels) of your full birth name.

In your case Robert, this totals 11.

Robert, your Soul Urge of 11 ...

What You Desire To Be, To Have, and To Do In Your Life

Your soul's purpose is to manifest ideals into reality but usually such an endeavor means that you must be a catalyst for change. For this reason many who encounter you actually fear you as what you suggest and say is a threat to their emotional and physical security. However this does not usually bother you as you have an innate realization that without chaos there can be no personal transformations or betterment of society.

Your highest calling is to become the master of a religion or of a spiritual realm. This can be a painful process emotionally as it often means the stripping away of the personality and ego. Many elevens travel a very difficult path, fraught with personal, physical and financial obstacles as the cosmos tests their mettle to have faith only in their higher self.

You are the ultimate seeker of truth and will go to any lengths to find a spiritual teacher or guru. This search often leads you on a path that is full of many pitfalls and disappointments as you realize that one spiritual system doesn't work for you or that a guru or teacher is only human after all. However by the end of your life, you are fated to acquire a great deal of practical and esoteric wisdom. Many of you become as hard and clear as diamonds when it comes to your clarity about the human race.

You also have the highest ideals of any other number and therefore set yourself up for disappointment. Many of you are born to be very sensitive emotionally and many of your soul lessons have to do with detaching emotionally from the pain and misery of the human race. Common soul lessons learned by number 11s are not to take things personally, to realize that everything, including happiness, is transitional and to realize that nothing is perfect (especially humans.) At the beginning of their lives elevens are often very attached to people, but by the end they usually achieve an omniscient emotional distance that is more beneficial and healing for a large group of humans than just a few.

Often your search for spiritual truth leads you to experimentation with mind-altering drugs. You are fascinated with the idea of altering your consciousness to achieve enlightenment. Rather than drugs, teachings from a master or trips to holy or mystical places would better cultivate your talents.

One of the dangers of being an eleven is that you think your psyche can take in anything and not suffer damage. Some of the spiritual experiences that you desire may be too strong for your delicate nervous system. For this reason you need to avoid mind-altering drugs, situations that are too extreme or religions that invite you to host dead spirits. You are also more vulnerable to astral attack than the other numbers simply because you are like a wide-open channel that is willing to receive psychic information from others. As some psychic information is destructive you need to learn meditation and psychic protection techniques to shield yourself from negative influences and energies.

As you are so curious it is very easy for you to be lead down the wrong spiritual path. If this does happen you are better off to forgive yourself and move on rather than dwell on a mistake that you think may have ruined your life. Testing your faith with negative spiritual influences is another way that the cosmos assures that you will eventually learn to transcend the ego desires of your personality.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

A year of Confusion

Where do i start after so long.................

More to Come!